Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The good, the bad, and the ugly!

So it has been a bit since I have blogged, life has been BUSY that is always a good thing :). With that being said lets get down to business. I have had some serious ups and downs these last few weeks.

My ups were great work outs and I mean GREAT can you say STAIR STAIRS STAIRS!!! And I have been busy making friends and stuff something I never thought I would be able to do, because I am a hermit for those who don't already know lol I always have been and probably always will be. They should have meetings for us like AA meetings but I guess no one would show right? HAHA.

So for everyone who doesn't know I have something called PCOS its where I have cysts that grow uncontrollably on my women parts. It has been a factor on my weight gain and it will be a factor on my weight loss I went to the Dr's about three weeks ago and they changed all my medication :( it throws me off. BUT I am not letting it stop me AT ALL nor am I blaming it for where I have gotten myself. I am where I am mainly because of bad food decisions and inactivity!

So I had a weigh in with Joe on the 20th and it had been 6 weeks since my last weigh in and for some reason no matter how good I am about working out everyday I tend not to be as good at weighing myself :( I realized I hadn't been doing it for that I blame ME. So I got on the scale all excited only find out that I had only lost 4 pounds I WAS SO MAD at myself that is! So it went from bad to worse when we did my measurements and I gained an inch in my waist and hips. I WAS ANGRY again at myself! So I went through that whole session feeling like I let everyone down. Never once did it dawn on me that I let myself down, because in all reality this is my journey! So I went home and I began to contemplate the situation. Now let me tell you the old me would have said "that's it I'm done! No more working out!" BUT we aren't talking about the old me, we are talking about the new stronger me, the one that took on this life change HEAD ON and nothing and I do mean NOTHING will stop me from getting to where I want to be! I know I have a LONG road but it will be traveled not only for me but for the many people cheering me on!! So I never thought about quitting I decided there and then I knew what would change it would me AGAIN and I completely revamped my diet literally over night! I gave up all bread, and pasta and for awhile meat. I thought for sure that I would have issues with this choice maybe even mood swings. But I thought if I could quit smoking cold turkey I could quit food cold turkey! And It was the best decision I have ever made. I started eating this way on the 23rd and I have dropped 10 1/2 POUNDS!!!!! And I feel amazing :) I will never go back to the food I was eating. I will bring meat back MAYBE haha but for now this is working for me and it will be my way of doing things :).

Don't ever let a bad situation or choice make up your whole life because if you quit when things get hard you wil never get ANYWHERE. If you don't like something CHANGE IT! That is my lesson for the week :) Life is full of lessons this I know well.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

It's like filling a hole up with dirt.

Imagine you have a huge hole and when I say huge I mean a sink hole like the one in Peru and there is you with a shovel trying to fill it. Will it ever happen?? Are you wasting your time?? Do you give up?? That is the battle that I am going through on a daily basis. I am filling this HUGE sink hole with a simple shovel. And I question myself everyday is it working?? And most importantly is it worth it?? And my answer to you is YES IT IS its worth ever drop of sweat and every minute of effort I have put into it. I know that "one day" I will fill the sink hole and then it will be covered forever, but I will always patrol it to make sure it never gets that large again!

The more I go to the gym the more people know me. They may not know my name or my story but they know I am there to make me new again! People wave at me, people who sadly I don't know or have never noticed. I am so grateful for these people they really keep my spirits up during this whole process. I was on the elliptical on Thursday morning and a woman came up to me to tell me she admired me for what I am doing. It's little things like that, that make my day. Just to know that these people see my effort and take time out of their day to acknowledge it makes me feel really special. But we can't get by on special alone right? I get myself in a funk where I go to the gym but I dont give it my all, it happens to us all right?? Sometimes I get on the elliptical and I know what I am capable of but I get lazy and then later I regret it :( Well today I pushed myself to get motivated and give it my all. I need to keep myself in check! I think I will make it my own personal competition to progressively beat my last calorie burn.. Did I mention how much I love body flow class, I didn't know what to do with myself yesterday afternoon without body flow and zumba I love Wednesdays even though I am pretty convinced that I look like a complete fool in those classes I DON'T CARE! LOL I am progressively getting better form in both classes and that make me happy :) This is what I imagine I look like minus the hat and tie of course.

Random Story.
 So I was in the shower the other day and I felt a lump on my front side area and if wasn't moving around and it was pretty big. So the whole time I was in the shower I was thinking geez I am doing all this hard work just to find a lump that is a pretty scary thing! So I got out of the shower and screamed for my husband to come check it out. And the whole time he was feeling around I said I am making an appointment to see a Dr A.S.A.P. and that I was scared. Well he just started laughing and I was thinking well thats pretty rude to laugh at a scared person!! He looked at me and said "the lump in question is you hip bone!" OMG was I embarrassed I honestly forgot I had one of those in there. I haven't felt it in years. Needless to say I won't be going to the Dr's for a check up.